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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578689">i couldn't forget you if i tried</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwirigatoni/pseuds/kiwirigatoni'>kiwirigatoni</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Dream Smp, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Web Series: Tales from the SMP, idk TAGS, just a oneshot idk, karl in love with james and sapnap, karlnap, masquerade episode, time traveler angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:41:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,852</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwirigatoni/pseuds/kiwirigatoni</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Karl meets a man at the masquerade, and can't help but be reminded of someone he left back home.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James / Karl Jacobs, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i couldn't forget you if i tried</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>(just to know before you read, i didn't write out anything that happened during the killings at the masquerade, it just didn't really have anything to do with the actual storyline)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ballroom is filled with noise as Karl glances around. He’d been enjoying himself so far, and with Billiam finally leaving him alone for a bit, he’d decided to take the opportunity to get acquainted with the other guests. Most had proved difficult, Lyaria being the only one he could manage to have a meaningful conversation with. Sebastian had been too absorbed in the high quality alcohol to answer any of Karl’s questions, and his encounter with Drew P. Weiner had led to Karl seeing more of him than he really wanted to. </p><p>His eyes rest on the one person he hadn’t talked to. The man hadn’t spoken much throughout the evening, and he didn’t necessarily seem approachable. His face was mostly covered by a phantom-esque mask, and to Karl he held an air of mystery, and yet, familiarity. He’d been putting off talking to James, and though he wouldn’t admit it to himself, it was because he made him feel something.</p><p>It was in the way he moved, the way he talked in short, clipped sentences, the way his eyes were slowly scanning the others in the room. It reminded Karl of Sapnap, and it left an ache in his chest. </p><p>-<br/>
<i>“You’re leaving again.”<br/>
Karl glanced up from his satchel to see Sapnap frowning slightly at him. He nodded. </i></p><p>
  <i>Sapnap continued to stare, and Karl felt like he was on fire.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He felt that way often around Sapnap. Sapnap was fire, he was flame. He was safe and comfortable and warm, and Karl loved it. He’d always loved it, and it had always felt as if he couldn’t be burnt. But as of late, it was different. A singed hair one day, a charred fingertip the next. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sapnap’s eyes were still on him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Karl looked away.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It burned.</i>
</p><p>-</p><p>Karl’s feet touch the floor as he sighs and slides off the stool, glancing at Sebastian before beginning to make his way across the ballroom. He can feel James’ eyes on him and purposely averts his gaze, fixing it on Oliver and the Butler. </p><p>Halfway across the ballroom floor, he glances back over. James leans easily against a table, still watching him, taking a sip from the glass bottle he is holding.</p><p>When Karl’s feet stop a few steps from him, he nods his head in greeting. Karl returns the gesture.</p><p>“Terrible company, hm?” James looks at Karl with a half grin on his face.</p><p>Karl thinks he might just die.          </p><p>He nods.</p><p>“Besides you, of course.” He offers in a teasing way, testing the waters before coming across as too forward.</p><p>The taller man gently sets his bottle down on the table behind him, and outstretches a hand to Karl.</p><p>“Balls are for dancing, are they not?” A grin still rests easy on James’ face as he tilts his head questioningly.</p><p>Karl laughs lightly. If he was less sane, he’d be sure this was a dream, with the uncanny resemblance to Sapnap’s motions making his heart drop into his stomach.</p><p>He steps forward and slips his hand into James’. It’s warm.</p><p>James turns and leads Karl towards the middle of the room. Karl takes a slow breath and reminds himself that this stranger who talks and walks like Sapnap is only that, a stranger. </p><p>By the time Karl recollects his thoughts, James had pulled him closer and lightly rested a hand on his waist.</p><p>“Have you danced?” </p><p>Karl shakes his head. He’s really had no experience with this sort of thing. Fancy parties were never quite his scene, instead opting to spend his days wandering or with his friends.</p><p>James pulls him closer, his mouth near Karl’s ear.</p><p>“I’ll show you.” he breathes quietly. “Other hand on my shoulder.”</p><p>James’ long hair was partially tied back, but Karl reaches up to brush some out of the way to place his hand where James had instructed. It’s soft, and Karl shivers.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <i>“Stop, you’re hurting my head,” Sapnap had whined, shaking his head in Karl’s lap. Karl laughed lightly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You’re just being a baby,” He’d replied, threading his fingers back through Sapnap’s soft hair. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Karl’s own curls were brushed away from his face as a firm hand tucked a dandelion behind his ear, promising millions of little things that could never be said aloud.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Karl smiled.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It was a pretty night, the sun setting over a cobblestone tower in the distance. It had all been perfect. A pretty boy in his lap. No war. No time travel.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>No forgetting.</i>
</p><p>-</p><p>Sapnap looked beautiful that night, Karl thinks to himself, the orange glow of the sun made it look like he was burning up.</p><p>Karl frowns slightly while trying to picture Sapnap’s face. He knows what it had looked like, so why-</p><p>“You alright?” James murmurs in his ear, pulling Karl from his concern. They had begun moving in slow circles now to the tempo of the music, James guiding Karl through the movements.</p><p>Karl nods.</p><p>“Yes, sorry, just- just thinking”</p><p>After trying his best to give a reassuring smile, James cocks an eyebrow in return.</p><p>“You're not from around here, are you?”</p><p>Karl hesitates, and shakes his head.</p><p>“Not exactly, no.”</p><p>Karl can only watch as James’ eyes trace his features, a soft expression on his face. It’s a faraway, longing look that Karl recognizes too well.</p><p>“Didn’t think so,” He pauses. “Can I show you something?”</p><p>“Sure.” Karl assents, slipping his hand off of James’ shoulder. “Where?”</p><p>The small smile on James’ face is so familiar, so similar that for a second Karl lets himself pretend. </p><p>The warm fingers intertwined with his own pull him away from the center of the ballroom and away from his thoughts.</p><p>What had changed, that Karl was now looking for comfort in the arms of a stranger that he could pretend was the man he loved?</p><p>-</p><p>
  <i>“It matters more, doesn’t it?”  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Karl didn’t dare look up. He knew the hurt he would see on the other’s face. Every time Karl packed his satchel, every time Karl walked out the door and to the portal room.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He brushed it off. There were bigger things to think about. And the question Sapnap had asked him didn’t have an easy answer. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>But the truth?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It did matter more.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Because the time travel, Karl forgetting his friends, his home, forgetting Sapnap, it was all worth it to keep them safe. To keep Sapnap safe. To make things right for the rest of them.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Slinging the soft leather strap of his bag over his shoulder, he walked out.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It wasn’t worth choking on the smoke when the house would burn either way.</i>
</p><p>-</p><p>Was it?</p><p>“Karl.”</p><p>Karl blinks, suddenly disoriented. Though he can’t see in the sudden darkness, the strong fingers still laced within his own tense. </p><p>“What’s- why is it dark?” </p><p>James gently pulls him to the left. </p><p>“I’m not sure-”</p><p>The words that had been coming from the darkness in front of Karl were suddenly drowned out by a scream echoing through the halls, sending shivers down Karl’s spine. He clutches the hand tighter.</p><p>“James-”</p><p>“I know, I don’t know-” James pauses again, and after a moment Karl can hear the click of a doorknob. “I think this is a room or something. Hopefully safe.”</p><p>Karl follows. A small voice somewhere tells him he shouldn’t trust this man he’d just met, but the fingers weaved within his own feel like home and Karl can’t help but embrace it. Besides, it’s probably his best chance at avoiding whatever fate the other partygoer had met.</p><p>The room turns out to be a closet, and an exceptionally small one at that. James eases the door shut behind them, still gripping Karl’s hand tightly within his own. </p><p>There are no more screams from the other side of the door. It’s stuffy in the closet, both boys trying to catch their breath.</p><p>Falling into silence, Karl becomes increasingly aware of the close quarters, and the way it feels like the walls are closing in on him. </p><p>He steadies his breathing, trying not to give away his discomfort, and once again his thoughts drift to Sapnap.</p><p>He’d know what to do. Sapnap always knew how to make him feel better, how to comfort him-</p><p>“Hey.” Karl refocused to feel James squeezing his hand gently. “You’re shaking.”</p><p>“Yeah, fine, just-” his words continued into a mumble. “Just don’t like small spaces, ‘s all.” </p><p>Karl could feel the movement that was presumably James nodding, and he heard him begin to whisper something before the words were cut off by another shrill scream.</p><p>Without thinking, Karl leaned closer to James out of fear, and could feel James’ arms wrapping around him as he rested his head against his chest.</p><p>James’ heartbeat was fast but steady, and Karl pressed into him.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <i>“Karl,” Sapnap had giggled from below him. “You’re absolutely crushing me, get off.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It had been raining outside. Thunderstorming all day. The two had been stuck inside, and by the time the sun had set Karl was restless. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He’d resorted to attacking Sapnap, who’d been asleep on the couch until Karl climbed on top of him, assaulting him with light jabs in the sides. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Karl had then leaned down, pressing gentle kisses to Sapnap’s forehead, his nose, his jaw. He’d smiled as Sapnap whispered sweet things in his ear, settled his head against Sapnap’s chest and let him play with his hair. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He’d fallen asleep to the sound of his love’s soft heartbeat, feeling safe and warm in his arms.</i>
</p><p>-</p><p>Karl opens his eyes, slowly sitting up and familiarizing his surroundings. The portal room. He silently thanks whatever gods exist that he couldn’t die permanently in another time, and then picks up his satchel with his books. It suddenly hits him how exhausted he is, and how badly he just wants to be held by- held by who? There’s something he can remember, remembers being loved by someone, but no name or face. Feeling a pit forming in his stomach, he shakes off the thought and begins the long walk back home. </p><p>It had begun to rain after only a few minutes, so by the time Karl reached his small mushroom-topped hut, his coat was soaked through and he was shivering. </p><p>Quietly easing the door open, he slips off his shoes and satchel, and hangs his coat on a hook next to a larger brown one. </p><p>Yawning, he barely notices that the room isn’t empty until the other person speaks.</p><p>“Karl?” the other man gets up from his seat on the couch, a shocked but hesitant expression on his face.</p><p>And suddenly he can remember, this is Sapnap, and he remembers everything, but especially the argument they’d had before he’d left. His shoulders slump a bit, his face looking as worn out as he feels.</p><p>“Sap, I’m so sorry, I’m-” </p><p>Karl’s words are cut off as Sapnap wraps him in his arms, burying his face into the smaller boy’s damp hair. Karl relaxes into him, too tired to protest any further.</p><p>“Hi,” Sapnap murmurs softly, “I missed you.”</p><p>Karl is wet and cold, but Sapnap is warm, and everything is okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is my first fic on ao3 but i havent seen a lot of james and karl content so i thought id provide it myself !! hope yall liked it:)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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